Rhythm: The Space Between Goals and Habits
- Aug 6
- 4 min read
Last weekend, we spent four days exploring Da Nang, Hoi An, Ba Na Hills and Hue as a family. I left each place with a different observation about human performance! This article is the first of four reflections inspired by that journey.
Like most family trips ours too began with some chaos, flight schedules, hotel check-ins, keeping two teenagers happy, deciding what to see first, adapting to a new city, and trying to make the most of four short days.
By the end of our first day, we had already found a temporary rhythm.
It came before vacation goals. It came before usual habits.
Without planning it, we gradually settled into a rhythm that worked for the next four days.
It created space to move, eat well, spend meaningful time together, write, collect ideas and capture the journey through my camera.
Finding the right rhythm turned out to be far more valuable than fitting more into each day.
Standing by the sea, I only needed a few minutes to remember something nature has always known.
Rhythm creates flow.
The waves never rush, yet they never stop moving.
That was the reminder I needed.
Back home, my days always follow a similar rhythm. Same breakfast. Exercise before lunch. Dedicated time to eat healthy. Coaching. Workshops. Writing. Evenings that usually end at a similar time.
That rhythm removes dozens of small decisions before my day even begins.
Whenever travel, a career transition or an unexpected life event interrupts that rhythm, creating a new one becomes my first priority. It helps me adapt more quickly, protect my energy and enjoy the experience instead of constantly negotiating with it.
Problem: We Design Habits, Not Rhythms
This is exactly what I see in coaching. Most of us are struggling at setting goals and building habits.
What we rarely design is the rhythm that allows them to survive everyday life.
When life changes, the old rhythm disappears before a new one exists. Until then, almost everything becomes another decision.
Should I exercise? What should I eat? How should I work?
Those tiny negotiations drain our energy before we've invested it in what truly matters.
Insight: Make Experiments
In her TEDx talk, How Tiny Experiments Can Set You Free, Anne-Laure Le Cunff suggests replacing lifelong commitments with small experiments.
"I will (action) for (duration)."
A few days. A couple of weeks. To create a rhythm just long enough to discover what works during transition.
Looking back, that's exactly how my writing started. One article led to the next.
Eventually, writing stopped feeling like another decision.
It became part of my rhythm.
As an architect, I learned that rhythm is never just repetition.
In architecture, repetition creates harmony.
In music, rhythm creates movement.
A well-designed rhythm removes hundreds of tiny negotiations from everyday life, creating more space for better thinking, better decisions and meaningful work.
I've started thinking of this as ‘Rhythm Architecture’:
Intentionally designing daily rhythms that help meaningful change last.
3 ideas to experiment with this week
💎 Choose: One small rhythm that stays with you when life changes.
💎 Build cadence: Focus on what you can repeat before focusing on what you can achieve.
💎 Let your rhythm evolve: Every season of life deserves its own rhythm.
One of the most meaningful parts of coaching is helping people notice the rhythms they're already living and intentionally redesign the ones that no longer serve them.
If you're navigating a transition and would like to explore what a more sustainable rhythm could look like in your own life or career, I'd love to help.
Here is the easiest way to reach out to me:
The next day, a cable car ride to Ba Na Hills reminded me that a steady rhythm can sometimes take us far beyond what we imagined at the beginning!
That's where the next week’s story begins...
Warmly from Hanoi,
Dilek
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