When Plans Change: How to Stay Capable in Uncertainty
For months, my family and I had been exploring a significant possibility for our future.
We researched, visited places and compared alternatives until an idea started feeling like a plan.
Then, circumstances changed. Something we had deliberately prepared for became uncertain.
Disappointment came first. Then frustration and anger.
Was the plan delayed, changing or disappearing?
I simply didn't know.
After writing about moving towards our goals in Da Nang and arriving somewhere unexpected in Ba Na Hills, I now faced a third possibility:
What happens when we don't know whether we will arrive at all?
My mind went back to our visit to the Imperial City of Hue. Built for the Nguyen dynasty, it gave physical form to power, order and permanence. Dynasties ended, wars damaged it and its original purpose disappeared. Yet walking through Hue today, its continuity is still deeply present.
As an architect, this gave me a different perspective on my own situation.
A structure can remain valuable long after the reality it was designed for has changed!
Could our plan and preparation work in a similar way?
Problem: We are taught to commit to our goals and keep going
But what happens when circumstances change and we remain deeply attached to a plan; reality may no longer support?
Insight: Distress of unattainable goals has biological consequences
Psychologist Carsten Wrosch has spent decades studying how people respond when important goals become unattainable. His highly cited original work on goal adjustment examines our ability to withdraw effort and commitment from goals we can no longer pursue and redirect our resources towards other meaningful possibilities.
As a panellist, he explains his study in this video, "Coping and Resilience: How to Cope with Unattainable Goals".
Also, their meta-analysis in the article, "Goal Adjustment Capacities and Quality of Life" by Rachel Barlow, Wrosch and Jennifer McGrath, connects these capacities with psychological well-being and physical health.
This connection fascinated me.
The relationship we have with our goals has a physical dimension. And the healthy relationship we have with our bodies influences our capacity to pursue meaningful goals.
As our physical and psychological resources decline, adapting can become harder too.
Suddenly, Hue's longevity meant something different to me. A structure needs strength and adaptability to endure. So do we.
Our capacity to regulate our thoughts and emotions, supported by a healthy body, adapt and seek new opportunities carries us through change.
That is a longer-term view of performance.
When an important plan becomes uncertain:
💎 Feel before searching for meaning:
Experience the disappointment before reframing it.
💎 Separate preparation from outcome:
Keep what you learned, built and discovered along the way.
💎 Protect the capacity you will need next:
Health, recovery and emotional regulation support our ability to adapt.
I still don't know what will happen with our plan.
For now, I am learning to leave that question open and stay prepared for possibilities I cannot see yet.
A Human Performance Architecture Reflection:
Developing our capacity to remain healthy, capable and adaptable as life evolves helps us disengage from what no longer serves us and reengage with what gives us hope.
How well are you protecting the capacity you may need for a future you cannot fully plan?
If you are navigating a transition and trying to find clarity in uncertainty, this is the work I explore with my coaching clients. I’d be happy to explore it with you too.
P.S. Our blog is taking a short break. See you after the holidays in September!
Here is the easiest way to reach out to me:
Warmly from Hanoi,
Dilek
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