What Wakes You Up vs. What Keeps You Up at Night
- Apr 13
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 22
As a coach, I always try to ask the right questions. And at the same time, I know that sometimes the question I ask can be… not the most helpful one. And that’s part of the work too.
This particular coachee often expressed how important it was for her to feel understood, seen, and acknowledged.
In this session, she was sharing how her nights had been lately.
Waking up at 3am. Work-related thoughts not letting her rest. Falling back asleep, then waking up again.
Her energy was already drained before the day even started.
Listening to her, I asked what felt like a natural question in that moment, with the intention to understand her world more closely:
“What keeps you up at night?”
She paused.
And then, in a very calm and kind way, she said:
“Dilek, I don’t think I want to go deeper into that. Maybe as a result of our previous conversations…today I feel ready to take a more constructive direction. What could I wake up in the morning for?”
This was more than just a different answer.
She was beginning to move from the problem space towards the solution space on her own. Coaching was working.
And crafting a job that wakes her us up in the morning was our next move.
Problem: High Responsibility, Limited Control
Many professionals are operating in environments with multiple dependencies and limited control over outcomes.
Over time, work becomes a continuous loop of auto-pilot problem-solving.
Necessary, but heavy.
Solution: Finding Energy Within the Problem Space
The shift is not completely leaving the problem space. Because in reality, most professionals cannot. The shift is about how you engage with it.
In my time as an architect, even in delayed and high-pressure projects, I noticed that how I communicated, structured, and supported my clients changed my own and their energy completely.
The situation did not change. But our experience of it did.
Because actions generated from this energy shift, were aligned with how I naturally operated.
A similar idea is explored by London Business School professor Dan Cable in his Harvard Business Review Podcast 'Make Work Engaging Again', who explains that people come alive at work by engaging with the parts of their work that create meaning, play to their strengths, and make them feel alive.
3 Practical Shifts You Can Apply Immediately
💎 Identify where your strengths are active
Within your current challenge, ask: Which part of this problem uses my strengths? Communication, Structuring, Decision-making… Stay longer in that space.
💎 Anchor energy to contribution, not control
You may not control the outcome. But you can control how you contribute. Focus on where you are a part of the solution.
💎 Notice when it is not a fit anymore
If your work consistently drains you and sits outside your strengths, it might be a signal for a bigger shift.
If this perspective resonates, and you feel like exploring how this could look in your own context, I would be happy to re-think together with you.
You can BOOK A FREE 30-MINUTE CALL and we can look at your current challenges from a different angle.
Warmly,
Dilek
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