The Art of Change: Your 3-Step Reset for What Comes Next
- Dilek Süzal
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
Updated: 8 hours ago
When life or work throws you into a new environment, what do you do?
Let me tell you about my unexpected adventure in Hanoi:
For two whole weeks, I couldn’t find a nail polish remover! Not in stores, not in huge supermarkets, not even in nail salons. Until finally, I reached out to a dear friend for help.
A tiny thing, yes, but when every tiny thing is unfamiliar, it starts to add up.
🌏 Working temporarily from a different country isn’t exactly a radical life change. But the discomfort reminded me of something deeper:
Most of the things we truly desire; growth, freedom, reinvention, lie on the other side of change.
Problem: No One’s Immune, Change Disrupts
When we enter unfamiliar territory, a new job, a new country, a new life stage, even the most accomplished professionals can feel ungrounded.
We tend to either:
Try to control everything, and burn out
Or pause everything, and lose momentum
Both create friction. And neither one leads to meaningful alignment. So what’s the alternative?
Solution: Use a Simple Adaptation Framework
Instead of reacting, reset.
Reflect. Reset. Move Forward.
A recent TED Talk by Maya Shankar, “Why Change Is So Scary — and How to Unlock Its Potential” offers a perspective that resonated deeply with me! (And yes, I love TED Talks and very often quote from them 😊)
As a cognitive scientist, she shares her own story of unexpected change, and the challenge of redefining who she was that came with it. Her core insight?
“It’s not change that scares us. It’s the loss of identity, clarity, and predictability that change brings.”
With real life stories, she offers three powerful questions to reframe your next transition:
How might this change...change what you are capable of?
How might this change...change what you value?
How might this change...change how you define yourself?
Here is your 3-Step Adaptation Reset:
Here’s what I recommend to my clients, both individuals and team leaders, this time of year:
🔹 #1 Reflect: Rediscover Your Capabilities
“What might I gain from this new path?”
Every change reveals new strenghts. Ask: What am I learning? What’s becoming possible now?
Action: List 3 things you’re doing well, even in this shift.
🔹 #2 - Realign: Reconnect with Your Values
“What parts of my identity can I carry forward?”
You haven’t lost yourself; you’re bringing your core into a new setting. Ask: What do I want to stay true to, no matter what changes?
Action: Choose 1 value to live by this week, visibly and intentionally.
🔹 #3 - Move Forward: Redefine Who You’re Becoming
“Who can I become because of this change?”
Change is an invitation, try to fully embrace it. Ask: What story will I tell about this moment in a year?
Action: Write a short note from your future, adapted self!
Change doesn’t always arrive in loud, life-altering packages.
Sometimes, it shows up quietly, in the inability to find nail polish remover in Hanoi! Other times, it comes with a job offer, a breakup, a birth, a relocation, or a restructuring.
No matter the scale, how we relate to change determines who we become through it.
So the next time change finds you, don’t just brace for impact. Pause. Reflect. Reset. And remember Maya Shankar’s question: Who can I become because of this?
Let me finish with a quote from 13th-century Persian spiritual teacher, Shams-i Tabrizi:
“Try not to resist the changes which come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”
That might just be the most powerful adaptation mindset of all.
Warmly from Hanoi,
Dilek
P.S. Here you can read the blog post about my own identity earthquake after the big ‘change’ in my life with our relocation to Vienna, Austria.
Official Collaboration Partners:
★ Lead Coach at the global coaching platform BetterUp based in USA.
★ Executive Coach and Trainer at SparkUs based in Turkey and Netherlands.
★ Impact Partner for coaching, training & facilitation projects at leadership experts Think Beyond Group based in Austria.
★ Leadership Coach at Percoms AG, based in Switzerland.
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